Human confessions: I've decided to try...decided to fight...decided to live!

Hi...my name is Temeika...

and

And this is my confession...

I spent a lot of my life trying to be perfect. I was quietly consumed by the concept of not making any mistakes. I was so afraid to fail that I struggled to start new things...anything. I was afraid that if I tried something and failed that people would see me...and think that I was something less than perfect... flawed, broken, or even dumb. 

Its true...

The thing that I was missing in my humanity was the fact that we are all flawed. We all make mistakes; failure is part of life. It is very difficult to live our lives without it. At best we operate in a kind of survival mode...doing enough to get by...seemingly undetected. 

But....survival is NOT the same thing as LIVING. 

I spent so much time being perfect, that I had little time for LIVING. There were a lot of things that I didn't do or even try to do because I was afraid to fail at them. It has taken me nearly a lifetime to see this pattern and start to change. 

Make no mistake, this is a lot of work. Changing my behavior means sometimes doing things while I am scared...telling people what I'm thinking so that I can have some sort of accountability and not retreat into myself...setting goals to do the kind of things that I may fail at but won't know unless I try...and above all, asking God to help me get through this. 

So why am I going on and on about this...well...its because I finally registered for the...wait for it...IRON GIRL Triathlon! 

And the crowd goes crazy...

Yeah...I totally feel the love! 

Ummm...but y'all know I'm scared right? This is a pretty steep goal, outside of my comfort zone...way outside. But...no matter how scared I am of failing at this one thing; I am more scared of missing out on any more of this great life that I've been given. I have so much to do in this world...so much to give...so much to receive. I am determined to be who I was created to be and do all that I was sent to do. So...I'm gonna do the Iron Girl...even though I'm scared. Then...I'm gonna do something else...cause I can! 

God put it in me to do this and more... 

The event is September 8, 2013, so I will keep you posted...

Love ya much!